The Problem with Avoiding the Problem Horse

Many beginning horse owners, and anyone who has had plural horses for plural years, has likely experienced it:  the problem horse.  I'm referring to behavioral problems, not unsoundness or other issues.  I'm talking about the horse that bucks, spooks, kicks, bolts, tries to run back to the barn, or does those many other things that have a way of making our lives more interesting than fun.  They may be high strung or fearful or simply mean -- but regardless of the specific issue, they're a problem.

The problem with the problem horse in our barn is we tend to avoid them.  If we have other horses to choose from, we will pick them for that quick ride just before the rain hits.  We'll want to ride the other horse for the long ride where we don't want to deal with the problem horse's issues.  We'll most certainly leave the problem horse at home when we're headed off to a big group ride -- because, quite rightfully, we don't want our problem to trigger the same behavior in everyone else's horses.

If an owner has only one horse, and he's a problem horse, they'll often get into a cycle of avoidance altogether.  It's not fun dealing with constant misbehavior -- so they'll leave him in his stall until they have enough time, or patience, to deal with him.  Perhaps they'll grow fearful, and be too intimidated to get him out at all.  As we all know, horses get tougher to handle as they're ignored -- so the next time the owner brings the horse out, he's even worse, and as a result, they ignore him for even longer.  You can see how quickly that cycle becomes worse and worse as time progresses.  The horse becomes  more problematic; the owner more fearful or unwilling to deal with him; and so on, until the horse is an old, unusable problem horse, or a dangerous horse for the next person to ride.

Here's the problem with avoiding the problem horse:  the more we avoid them, the worse the problem becomes.  It's like avoiding a health issue because of fear:  it's not going to go away, and it will likely just get worse.  The irony of problem horses is (especially as pertains to those of us who own several), problem horses require MORE of our attention than any other horse in the barn, but in most situations they receive LESS than all the others.  It's not something to feel guilty about; it's something to think about, and be aware of.

One thing that feeds the cycle is that the problem horse (for this post, we'll name our problem horse "Osama" because these horses are often terrorists, and are capable of hurting us) requires more time than the others.  What might take two minutes with our reliable Ol' Blue may take several hours with Osama.  Blue will hop right in the trailer; Osama takes three hours of battle.  Blue will lower his head and let you clip his ears; Osama will snort and flip over backwards at the sight of the clippers.  You can hop on Blue bareback in the barn and trot off for a trail ride in unexplored terrain without any fuss; Osama requires 30 minutes of round pen work, a helmet, and another calm horse alongside to advance across the street.

They require patience.  Unfortunately, they're most likely to push our own buttons and cause us to respond with anger, frustration, irritability, and sometimes brutality -- not to mention neglect, as discussed above.  They require us to take that cleansing breath, walk away for a few minutes, and compose ourselves so we don't undo the training we've been trying to accomplish.  Then -- at some point -- we might lose it after all and get too heavy-handed with them, and we undo the trust issue completely.  They test us and we respond with fear and anger.

As I pondered this blogpost earlier this morning, I got to thinking how often this same situation comes up in our own human relations.  We work the least hard at the relationships that require it the most.  I wonder what would happen if we invested more time in those difficult relationships, trying to build trust and communication skills just as we do with our horses?

In my next post, I'll offer some thoughts on a strategy that may work wonders with your own problem horse -- the "15-minutes to a better horse" plan.  Meantime, if you've got an Osama in your barn, just think about how much time you are spending with him.  Keep a journal or just make a note in your day planner of how much time, and what you did, with each interaction with him.  If you have multiple horses, compare that amount of time to the time you spend with each other horse.  You may shake your head one day soon and say, "No wonder Osama isn't as reliable as Ol' Blue."

Photo (c) 2013 MJ Miller

Copyright 2013 by MJ Miller

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